The Writing’s On The Walls

Sketch told me the words to write, and where to place them. Then he added his own words and drew the frame.

This is my first post written from a special guest, Kay Lutsky!  Kay has been a friend of mine for over 23 years.  We now live many states apart, but keep in touch via facebook, which is where this post originates. I had posted the picture above in an album called The Chalkboard Kid.  Sketch (age 6, with autism/adhd)  has taken to writing on his walls with chalk, and often he will write the lyrics to his favorite songs.  When Kay saw this, this was her response:

I guess I should start with how this all started. Merri posted a picture of what is on the walls of  Sketch’s room. It really touched my heart, and the more I thought about what he wrote, the more I was blown away.

I know that what he wrote was actually lyrics to a song, I think by Chris Tomlin, but at first glance it appears to me that these words are written as a note to Sketch from God. God telling Sketch that he, Sketch, is beautiful. That to God, Sketch is a treasure and God has plans for him. Wow! Talk about positive reinforcement! I think we ALL need to have this written on our walls where we can see it day and night and remember that we really do mean that much to our Heavenly Father.

Then it struck me, Sketch’s walls are covered with these lyrics, these messages from and about our loving God and Savior. These words of God…(warning track jump)…This young man literally rests surrounded by the word of God, every night. This is where my mind got blown away. I mean literally and figuratively this little guy has got it right, don’t ya think? Here I am 40-something years old and I still have a hard time with the concept of rest, and I can’t begin to fathom how to rest in God. Yet, it’s so simple. We just need to surround ourselves with Him and trust what He says.

Every where we look we need to search for Him. We need to surround ourselves with His Words, not our own. We need to surround ourselves with music about Him, not worldly things. We need to talk about Him, not hide Him in our hearts. We need to talk to Him. We need to listen to Him and learn about Him from His Word. It always comes back to His Word. It is powerful and provides the (to borrow from my preacher dude’s sermon) “guard rails” in our lives. When we know His Word it helps us know which paths are righteous (check out Proverbs), and lead to life (good things) and not destruction (really bad things). How did I miss it before?

My family and I will have to move soon. My two teenagers think that Sketch is really “cool” for having chalkboard walls, and now they want them too. Wouldn’t it be so incredibly great to grow up surrounded with His promises on our walls? I wonder what difference it would make in my children’s confidence levels, and their relationship with God? If our landlord says “yes,” I think I’ll help them paint.

Thank you Kay for sharing this with us! It reminds me of Deuteronomy 6:6-9
“These commandments that I give you today are to be on your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up.  Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads.  Write them on the doorframes of your houses and on your gates.”

Sketch wrote all these lyrics himself, to Chris Tomlins "I Lift My Hands"

Sketch's favorite verse.

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Can You Give Me a Hint?

All things considered, Dash has really transitioned from homeschooling into public school very nicely.  A few bumps and kinks here and there but nothing major…that is, until this Monday.

Monday started out as a relatively quiet day.  I was homeschooling Sketch while Princess Buttercup and Dash were at school. Sketch was just starting to practice writing his numbers when the phone rang.

“Hello, Mrs. Incredible?  I was wondering if you could come and pick up Dash at school. He is having a hard time on the bus.”

“What is he doing?”

“Well, he is screaming loudly on the bus and he won’t calm down.”

I rushed Sketch and myself off to the school.  There haven’t been any problems on the bus so far…what in the world is going on?

As I pull into the parking space and open my door, I see Mrs. Teacher and the twins walking toward me.  Dash seems fine…  Princess Buttercup on the other hand seemed pretty annoyed that she didn’t get to ride the bus with her friends.

Mrs. Teacher said Dash was screaming a high pitched scream that was totally distracting to everyone on the bus, especially Mr. Kent, the driver.

“If you scream on the bus, you ride home in the car!” Dash says, as if he has been trying to set the “rule” in motion as a screen play to sit back and watch.

And this time, the rule played out as he expected.

So how do I get him to understand what he has done?  How do I help him understand how many people were effected by his “bad choice”?  How do I not let him have so much fun “playing out the rules”?

I decide to get a large pad of paper, and started a diagram to explain it.  I emphasized how his one bad choice took away the choice of all the other people.  Princess Buttercup lost her choice to ride the bus because I had to drive to school to get him.  Sketch and I had to stop working on Kindergarten stuff to come and get him.  The kids on the bus lost their choice to have a relaxing drive home on the bus.  Mrs. Teacher had to stay late to make sure Dash and Princess Buttercup were safely waiting for me to arrive, etc.  We talked about the consequence of making that bad choice, how it effected other peoples choices, and how the result is that he is not going to be able to make choices tonight.

It looked something like this:

Dash seemed to “get” it…that he upset a lot of people that he really enjoys and likes.

But, he was still reciting the rule…”If you scream on the bus, you come home in the car”.  So, I decided to try to deflate some of the reward of watching the rule play out.  I said, “Dash, If you are good on the bus, you get to ride with Mr. Kent, you get to be on the bus that you enjoy riding on, and you get to be with the other kids on the bus.  You know what will happen if you make good choices.  If you don’t behave on the bus, well… you don’t know what will happen to you!”  He thought about that for a minute, a little uncertain about it.

Maybe this is it?  Maybe the fear of the unknown can override the fun of the rules?  And really, we don’t know what will happen to him….He could be permanently kicked off the bus, he could be switched to a special ed bus, he could end up distracting the driver so much there is an accident!  Really, we don’t know.

But what I really wanted to know, was WHY.  Why did he do it?  The only thing I could come up with was about playing out the rules to see them work, but I don’t really know the why.

So, I ask Dash, “Why did you scream on the bus?”

“Because you take the car home.” he replies.

No, I that is what happened, I want to know why did you do it?

“You upset Mr. Kent.”

“That is who you upset. I want to know why you did it!”

In his innocent boyish voice, he replies, “Can you give me a hint?”

I answer, “No, only you know why you did it, Dash.”

But, as I said those words, I knew there was someone else who knows why, someone else who knows the motivation behind it.

There are times when we all do things that we don’t understand.  We baffle ourselves with our own behavior, our own reactions to things.  Why do we do the things we do?

Most kids (and many adults) answer questions like “Why?”  with the standard, “I don’t know!”

Dash answered the questions a bit like the psalmist, David would have answered it.  “Can you give me a hint?” is very much like,

Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.” Psalm 139:23-24

David also instructed his son, Solomon in I Chronicles 28:9 “And you, my son Solomon, acknowledge the God of your father, and serve him with wholehearted devotion and with a willing mind, for the LORD searches every heart and understands every motive behind the thoughts.” (italics added)

It is a comfort to know that God knows us that well…better than any parent can understand their children.  He knows the whys, the motives and the hearts of each of us and loves us nonetheless.

So next time we find ourselves wondering why we do what we do, we can take a lesson from Dash, and simply call upon our forgiving, all knowing–yet all loving Creator, our Father, and ask him, “Can you give me a hint?” and then “serve him with whole hearted devotion and with a willing mind.”

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