Getting Caught

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http://treasuresinthedust.com/autism/getting-caught/

 

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Sketch’s First Day of School!

Today is the day of Kindergarten for Sketch.

Besides being worried concerned about all the things that could happen on his first day, we are very excited.

I was planning to homeschool him this year.  Sketch had such a hard time leaving home to go to preschool every day, especially when he would see his Princess Buttercup and Dash staying home.  He always loved being at school, but the leaving home part was what was so heart breaking.

With tears streaming down his face while he sobbed, he’d wave his hand at me from the car, “Bye-bye Mommy. I love you Mommy!  See you after school, Mommy!”  (Sniff, sniff!)

Heart wrenching!

He really didn’t “play fair” at all.   As soon as Mr. Incredible would pull out of the driveway, Sketch would perk up and start singing his heart out, happy as can be.

But day after day…it just wore on me!  I started to wonder how much he understood.  Like, did he know that the twins were staying home with me all day for homeschool?  Did he wonder why we sent him away to school?  Does he wonder if we don’t want him home?

Sketch has always liked being home.  He would often need some coercing to get him to go out of the house unless it was a highly motiving place, like the Bounce Zone or Childrens Museum (and now we can add gas stations and drive-thru’s as highly motivating too!)

But, somewhere along the way, his “want to” (as Beth Moore would say) changed.

I think seeing his twins get on and off that big yellow bus had something to do with it.  He just loves busses!

Over the first month of the twins school, Sketch made it clear that his “want to” changed.  He didn’t want to be at home for school.  He didn’t want me to be his “teacher”, but to be his Mommy.

He DID want to go to school. He wanted to ride the bus to school, to participate in circle time and play in the big gym (and probably to show off his spanish vocabulary and accent, and his reading, writing and spelling ability…or, maybe that’s me!)

And, as I’d watch him play at the Bounce Zone, I’d see him watch the other kids, and he’d get so excited to be around them.  A wonderful thing for a parent of kids on the spectrum to see 🙂

However, I am sure that his real “want to” is to sit on my lap on the bus ride to school and to sit on my lap in those tiny kindergarten-sized chairs all day at school!

There may be some surprises this first day!

However, we are so proud of him for being able to express to me and Mr. Incredible, his desire for school.  We were so proud that we didn’t even really take it as a blow to our home-schooling abilities! How awesome for God to change his ‘want to’ from being just home with Mommy, to wanting to socialize with others!  Especially considering that not being “social” is one of the core deficits of autism!

Sometimes we need to re-evaluate our want to’s as well.  Sometimes we don’t want to change something that we know we should.  But God can change our want-to, just like he changed Sketches.

Psalms 40:8: I desire to do your will, my God;  your law is within my heart.”

Psalm 119: 1-5

1 Blessed are those whose ways are blameless,
who walk according to the law of the LORD.
2 Blessed are those who keep his statutes
and seek him with all their heart—
3 they do no wrong
but follow his ways.
4 You have laid down precepts
that are to be fully obeyed.
5 Oh, that my ways were steadfast
in obeying your decrees!

So if there is any hesitancy to in seeking God with all our hearts, in jumping over to solely following and obeying God as the Psalmist did…if there is any hesitancy to delight in His ways…if His laws are not engraved in our hearts… then maybe we should ask God to change our “want to” too?

John 14:14  “You may ask me for anything in my name, and I will do it.”

Now that is an awesome promise!

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