Choosing Joy

The relentless, constant, unending, repetitive badgering.

The fighting, the yelling the screaming, the crying.

Day after day.

All hell broke loose a few minutes ago.

Sketch had just tried to go jumping on top of the van, again (his new favorite thing to do)

PolkaDot, so tired, was put in her crib. But, her favorite thing to do now is to throw her stuffed animals and pacifiers overboard and then cry because she can’t sleep without them. (Don’t you love that stage?)

I, riddled with aching joints, go to get PolkaDot, and then let Sketch out of  his time-out that he earned by kicking PolkaDot because she was sitting on the floor instead of being held by me.

“Hold the baby?”

Here we go again.  Twenty-four seven, he wants me to hold the baby.

I walk in to the computer room to text Mr. Incredible and see when he’s coming home. We’re supposed to be packing for a trip and getting ready for PolkaDots 1st birthday.

Sketch follows me.  Polkadot is nestled in the chair with me as I tap on the keyboard.

“Hold the baby? Log-in window?”  He demands.  Again.

He is pretty much OCD about all computers being on the log-in window screen unless he’s playing with it.

“Not right now, Sketch.”

He continues to badger.

PolkaDot pulls herself up to her feet, and before I could blink my eyes, she landed with a thud, right on the side of her face.

Screams.

Uncontrollable sobs.

“Hold the baby!  Log-in window!”

I send Sketch back to his room.

PolkaDot continues to scream, her body thirsting for comfort.

This is how it’s been for most of the summer.  Unending.

We’ve had great moments in between the mind-boggling chaos.

It would be so easy to focus on all the bad things.  All the This-Is-Too-Much-ness of it all.

But, to focus on that would be the beginning of an unending darkness.  The “pit of despair” as it’s described in The Prince Bride  .

So I choose after my own tempter tantrum instead, to focus on the the good things; to “Choose Joy” as Sherry Surratt talks about in her article I Choose Joy from MomSense Magazine’s Summer 2012 edition. She says:

“It’s so human to get caught up in what’s wrong, what’s broken, what’s missing and to be crabby about it.  But here’s what I know:  God wants me to choose joy. Contentment is my daily opportunity if only I’ll slow down and notice the good things.”

I really believe this is the secret to handling the impossible:

.         To Believe that all things are possible for those who love God.

        It is too hard by myself, but with God, I can do anything.

.        To Believe that every good and perfect gift comes from the Father.

        It isn’t a coincidence.

.        To Believe that God is there helping me, teaching me to see the positive.

        He whispers in my ear, which way to go.

.        To know that God is showing me,  pointing out to me,  the lovely, beautiful, good things that he as placed all around me.

        He opens my eyes to see.

So I choose be grateful, to be thankful for all that He’s given me.

        When I do that, I see that the weight of all those good things is by far, heavier than all the bad.

Psalm 30:11

“You turned my wailing into dancing;
 you removed my sackcloth and clothed me with joy”

Advertisements

The Gift and the Giver: Merry Christmas!

A couple weeks ago, Dash was in such a hurry (and believe it or not, fighting with his sister) that he left on the bus without his bookbag (insert quivering lip of Dash here).  Knowing how much this would upset him, I drove the bookbag over to the school at my first opportunity.  Dash had just arrived and he & his (wonderful) Ed Tech (we’ll name her  Ms. Best) were just about to call me when I walked in the doors. He saw me come with his bag and his face lit up with the biggest smile and arms open WIDE. For a minute, I thought he was going to give me a big hug…but no, that was for his beloved book bag. “My book bag!” he said as he grabbed it.

Oh well… His smile defied his actions and hugged me anyway.  Pretty amazing to be able to give someone that much happiness with just one small action, one gift.

I was thinking about this and how Dash seemingly noticed the gift more than the giver of the gift, and thought about how often we do the same thing with the Giver gives us gifts. He wants us to seek Him first, not his gifts.

But when God gave us the ultimate gift, Jesus, He gave us a gift work seeking.

James 1:17 says, “Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights…”  Today being Christmas Eve, as I read this I think of the lights on the Christmas tree.  May the lights shining down on the gifts below, remind us of the Father who’s give His perfect gift in the form of a baby on Christmas morning.

While looking for that verse in James, I found a couple other verses that are worth pondering as we open gifts this Christmas.

The first is Deuteronomy 26:11 “Then you and the Levites and the foreigners residing among you shall rejoice in all the good things the LORD your God has given to you and your household.”

The second is 2 Corinthians 9:8:  And God is able to bless you abundantly, so that in all things at all times, having all that you need, you will abound in every good work.”

This Christmas, let us rejoice in the Giver, the Gift, and rejoice in the good things God has given us, so that we will abound in every good work.

Merry Christmas everyone!  May our smiles and lit-up faces hug our Savior this year!



Polkadot Arrives!

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

After 9 long months, Polkadot is here! She arrived on July 22, 2011, weighing in at 7lbs 4oz and 19 1/2 inches long!  She is an absolute treasure and gift to our family.   I hope to resume regular posts soon!

“Delight yourself also in the Lord, and He shall give you the desires of your heart”. Psalm 37:4

The Desires of Your Heart

I remember walking around the neighborhood with my then fiance’, talking about what we’d name our future children.  We had 6 names picked out, three boys and three girls.

But then we had twins…then autism, then ADHD, then another boy, and then ear infections, severe asthma, multiple food allergies, constant illness, and autism again, and ADHD again… that kinda put a damper on the thoughts of having any more children.

I had totally given up on the thoughts of more children, but I so much wanted a Rebecca Joy in my arms.  I think I may have even gone through the grieving process that this would never happen.  If anyone asked if we would have more kids, I’d always reply with a quick, “NO!”  (with the “are you crazy? We have enough going on as it is.” implied!)

We were overwhelmed enough.  It couldn’t even be thought of.

But God knew how much we wanted another child, and probably…it was Him putting that desire in our hearts.  He saw past all the rubbish, stress and insanity of our lives, and he decided to give us a baby girl after all…

Psalm 37:4 says, “Take delight in the LORD, and he will give you the desires of your heart.”

How wonderful is that?

I had my first ultrasound this week and she (yes, the answer to Princess Buttercup’s prayers for the last 2 years have been answered with a big, “YES!”) is doing wonderfully!

Here is a picture of my little skeleton:

A final thought: From the beginning, God has had good plans for our lives, and no circumstance, no illness or disability, no evil intentions, not even Satan himself, can thwart His plan.

“Remember the former things, those of long ago; I am God, and there is no other; I am God, and there is none like me. I make known the end from the beginning, from ancient times, what is still to come. I say: My purpose will stand, and I will do all that I please. From the east I summon a bird of prey; from a far-off land, a man to fulfill my purpose. What I have said, that will I bring about; what I have planned, that will I do.” Isaiah 46:9-11

%d bloggers like this: