Ever Try to Sing A Duet by Yourself?

Sketch singing his heart out.

Me either.  It seems kind of, well…not possible.  Or is it?

The boys probably don’t think it is such a crazy idea.  Well, maybe they haven’t sung a duet by themselves, but they have done things like it.

For example, when Dash (age 9, Autism, ADHD) was a toddler, he loved to play a Peek-a-Boo game called, “Who’s under the blanket?” , but not in the standard way.   For this game, there is supposed to be several kids, and one is covered with a blanket. The other kids are supposed to guess which child is under it.  Dash just loved this game when we’d play it as a family. After he learned the game, we caught him more than once, sitting by himself covered in a blanket singing the song, “Who’s under the blanket?, Who’s under the blanket?, Who’s under the blanket? Can you guess who it is?” and then pull his blanket off, surprising….himself?

And he’d smile and giggle and it was “oh so cute!”

Except…

Dash attached the enjoyment, the positive emotional charge he got from playing the game with us, to the game itself.  He love the game so much initially because he shared it with us.  It was the relationship,  lifted voices shouting in unison, “It’s Dash!” , the facial expressions and goofy smiles he saw when the blanket was lifted.  It was the shared experience that was responsible for the enjoyment of the game.  But he misdirected that fun-factor and attached it to the blanket and the game instead of us.

He thought he could recreate the fun he had all. by. himself.

And he tried, and tried and tried. I think he did recreate some of the fun by the memory of what happened the first time.  But he didn’t consider that he could have more fun, more of the same kind of fun,  different but just as fun experiences by playing the game with other people… in the context of a relationship.

Our “normie” (that is Quirky and Laughing‘s word for NT or neurotypical or typically developing) daughter, Princess Buttercup (twin to Dash) used to do a similar thing.

We had a friend who would come and take Princess out to do fun things, so she wouldn’t feel so left out when in-home supports staff would come and take Dash places.

When our friend would ask Princess what she wanted to do, she would always say she wanted to do exactly what she did the last time when they went out, and in the same order.

She just couldn’t imagine having as good a time doing something different, as she did doing what she already knew.  Princess had attached the fun-factor to the activities they did, instead of to spending time with another person…the relationship.

That one may be easier for us “normie’s” to relate to, but both the kids misdirected the love to something other than purely the person.  Don’t get me wrong, Princess Buttercup did love the person who was taking her out, but she still thought she had to recreate previous experiences to have maximum fun.

Isn’t that what we do with God?  We either seek after the things he gives us: gifts like blankets and games.  Or, we try to recreate a series of events in order to experience again a recent awesome experience with God, thinking that we can’t have another one like it unless we follow that same formula.  Do we put God in a box like that?

I wonder how often we become ritualistic or legalistic, dare I say “religious” in the things we do, instead of doing things because of our relationship with God.  We go to church, we worship, we read our Bibles, we participate in acts of service… but are we doing it out of habit? Do we do it because we were doing those things the last time we “experienced” God?  Or, do we do it because we so desire to spend time with the God who desperately loves us…do we serve because of the desire to share with others the awesome gifts the Father has imparted to us?

Have we misdirected our love, like Dash and Princess and taken it out of the context of relationship?

I wonder… just how often do we try to sing a duet by ourselves?

Matthew 6:33 “But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.”

Psalm 63:1 “You, God, are my God, earnestly I seek you; I thirst for you , in a dry and parched land where there is no water.”

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16 Comments

  1. Dearna said,

    March 9, 2012 at 10:52 PM

    ‘normie’, I love that.

    • Merri Lewis said,

      March 10, 2012 at 8:33 AM

      Me too Dearna, and the lady that writes quirky and laughing is so funny, I just recently found her blog and love it!

  2. March 10, 2012 at 7:00 AM

    You always get me thinking Merri…I LOVE that!

    • Merri Lewis said,

      March 10, 2012 at 8:34 AM

      Thank you Fi! And thank you for sending people the way of my blog!

  3. March 10, 2012 at 7:18 AM

    So glad Fiona pointed me over here to your blog! Going to follow right now & will add you to my blog roll right after I get some coffee in me! 🙂 I’d love if you stop by & visit me at http://www.paintingwithpicasso.blogspot.com – I’ve been adding some additional writing into the mix with our special needs stuff.
    I like “normie” too! 😉
    Best!

    • Merri Lewis said,

      March 10, 2012 at 8:34 AM

      Good to “meet” you Becky! I’ll be checking over at your blog asap!

  4. April 12, 2012 at 8:32 AM

    Merri,

    I wondered if you ever sponsored a little girl named “Sarah” from New Day Foster Home in China who was born with ASD/VSD?

    If you could let me know if I have the right Merri, I’d appreciate it 🙂

    Sara

    • Merri Lewis said,

      April 12, 2012 at 8:51 AM

      Hi Sara, I have not sponsered a girl from New Day but I do have a friend who adopted 2 children from that home! If you would like, I could connect you two. Let me know!

      • footballandfriedrice said,

        April 12, 2012 at 8:55 AM

        I’m sorry I’ve left a few comments – I’m trying to figure out WordPress 🙂 I promise I’m not a stalker!!! My daughter came to me in 2008 with a veggie tales book signed by the Lewis Family. Merri and Dan – it was inscribed too – very precious to me to have that.

      • Merri Lewis said,

        April 12, 2012 at 8:58 AM

        Ha! No worries 🙂 It could be us! Was the Book “A Snoodles Tale?” Because we did get several copies of those books and we could have sent one with my friend when she went to pick up her first son at New Day! I love that book!

      • footballandfriedrice said,

        April 12, 2012 at 8:56 AM

        Maybe your friends kids were at the home the same time as my daughter?mysterious the way God works!

      • Merri Lewis said,

        April 12, 2012 at 8:58 AM

        I am thinking that may be the case! How awesome!

      • Merri Lewis said,

        April 12, 2012 at 9:26 AM

        Thank you so much for hunting us down! You made my day! How is “Sarah” doing? I do remember a little girl there around that time, that I saw on the website and I fell in love with her from her picture-so incredibly adorable. It may have been her!

  5. footballandfriedrice said,

    April 12, 2012 at 8:52 AM

    Merri,

    Did your family sponsor a little girl names “Sarah” at New Day Foster Home in China?

    Thanks!
    Sara

  6. footballandfriedrice said,

    April 12, 2012 at 10:29 AM

    That was the book!!!!!! So awesome! I just wanted to say thank you – my daughter came to me with a small bag of items that were hers – including that book & a teddy bear that said “someone in Kentucky loves me”. It made my heart filled with joy to know that while she ws orphaned, she was not alone or unloved. I would love to send you a few pictures of our daughter (Mya Jian) – and the inscription in the book! I think it would be a great testimony to your kids that Gods Word never returns void!

    Sara.pinkmaryjanes@gmail.com

    • Merri Lewis said,

      April 12, 2012 at 2:24 PM

      I sent you an email from my regular email account. I would just love to see a picture of her! What a wonderful story 🙂 And I am so happy to hear that she was adopted by such a loving mom!


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