The Desires of Your Heart

I remember walking around the neighborhood with my then fiance’, talking about what we’d name our future children.  We had 6 names picked out, three boys and three girls.

But then we had twins…then autism, then ADHD, then another boy, and then ear infections, severe asthma, multiple food allergies, constant illness, and autism again, and ADHD again… that kinda put a damper on the thoughts of having any more children.

I had totally given up on the thoughts of more children, but I so much wanted a Rebecca Joy in my arms.  I think I may have even gone through the grieving process that this would never happen.  If anyone asked if we would have more kids, I’d always reply with a quick, “NO!”  (with the “are you crazy? We have enough going on as it is.” implied!)

We were overwhelmed enough.  It couldn’t even be thought of.

But God knew how much we wanted another child, and probably…it was Him putting that desire in our hearts.  He saw past all the rubbish, stress and insanity of our lives, and he decided to give us a baby girl after all…

Psalm 37:4 says, “Take delight in the LORD, and he will give you the desires of your heart.”

How wonderful is that?

I had my first ultrasound this week and she (yes, the answer to Princess Buttercup’s prayers for the last 2 years have been answered with a big, “YES!”) is doing wonderfully!

Here is a picture of my little skeleton:

A final thought: From the beginning, God has had good plans for our lives, and no circumstance, no illness or disability, no evil intentions, not even Satan himself, can thwart His plan.

“Remember the former things, those of long ago; I am God, and there is no other; I am God, and there is none like me. I make known the end from the beginning, from ancient times, what is still to come. I say: My purpose will stand, and I will do all that I please. From the east I summon a bird of prey; from a far-off land, a man to fulfill my purpose. What I have said, that will I bring about; what I have planned, that will I do.” Isaiah 46:9-11


  1. Alienhippy said,

    March 6, 2011 at 8:09 PM

    Wow!! Merri, thank you for sharing your beautiful daughter with us.
    I can’t find words to express my gratitude.
    So I can only do what came to mind as I read your beautiful post and looked at your little girl, share our Heavenly Fathers words.

    For you created my inmost being;
    you knit me together in my mother’s womb.
    I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
    your works are wonderful,
    I know that full well.

    Love, hugs, blessings and peace to you my friend.
    Lisa. xx 🙂

    • Merri Lewis said,

      March 6, 2011 at 8:13 PM

      One of my favorite & life-changing psalms!! Thank you Lisa

  2. alienhippy said,

    March 6, 2011 at 8:15 PM

    Yep…definitely life changing for me too Merri, Fi gave me a few pointers on this one. How AMAZING is God that He can connect us from such a distance. But NO distance for such an AWESOME God. Love ya. xx 🙂

    • Merri Lewis said,

      March 6, 2011 at 10:28 PM

      That amazes me every day, Lisa! I am so honored to have “met” you and Fi!

  3. Tawnia said,

    March 6, 2011 at 10:14 PM

    The ways of God are not the ways of man, for sure.

    Your story is sweet, and oh, so familiar to me. There are six years between my 3rd and my 4th child–six years of thinking that I would never have another because autism and adhd made parenting so very, very difficult.

    I don’t even know what exactly changed in me, but it tasted like hope. Hope and faith that no matter what, we were ready for the complete family God had for us. (We didn’t just get our princess…we got Princess followed by Stitch the Monkey Boy…and it was very good.)

    Thanks for sharing your pictures of your beautiful little girl!

    • Merri Lewis said,

      March 6, 2011 at 10:26 PM

      Tawnia, you are so welcome 🙂 I didn’t realize that much time was between yours! I’m so happy that you did continue your family-they are beautiful children! Your stories make me laugh too, because I soooo can relate! Who’da thought that kids would really do such crazy things? They do bring quite a bit of extra laughter to make up for the hard times, that’s for sure!

  4. fiona2107 said,

    March 7, 2011 at 5:52 AM

    I am SO excited for you Merri!

    God is so good, He always provides!

    • Merri Lewis said,

      March 9, 2011 at 10:15 PM

      Yes he does! Thank you Fi!!

  5. nobodyelsethoughtofthis said,

    March 9, 2011 at 8:10 PM

    Your baby girl is beautiful! : )

    Once our pastor preached on the desires of your heart verse, but had a different take on it- not that when we trust in Him, He’ll give us what we desire, but that when we are completely surrendered to Him, He’ll be the one who gives us our desires. It sounds like that’s what happened to you two. Beautiful!

    • Merri Lewis said,

      March 9, 2011 at 10:14 PM

      Very true… It seems it would be hard to truly delight in God and NOT be willing to be surrendered to him as well. Good point!

      Thank you so much for commenting!

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