Sketch’s First Day of School!

Today is the day of Kindergarten for Sketch.

Besides being worried concerned about all the things that could happen on his first day, we are very excited.

I was planning to homeschool him this year.  Sketch had such a hard time leaving home to go to preschool every day, especially when he would see his Princess Buttercup and Dash staying home.  He always loved being at school, but the leaving home part was what was so heart breaking.

With tears streaming down his face while he sobbed, he’d wave his hand at me from the car, “Bye-bye Mommy. I love you Mommy!  See you after school, Mommy!”  (Sniff, sniff!)

Heart wrenching!

He really didn’t “play fair” at all.   As soon as Mr. Incredible would pull out of the driveway, Sketch would perk up and start singing his heart out, happy as can be.

But day after day…it just wore on me!  I started to wonder how much he understood.  Like, did he know that the twins were staying home with me all day for homeschool?  Did he wonder why we sent him away to school?  Does he wonder if we don’t want him home?

Sketch has always liked being home.  He would often need some coercing to get him to go out of the house unless it was a highly motiving place, like the Bounce Zone or Childrens Museum (and now we can add gas stations and drive-thru’s as highly motivating too!)

But, somewhere along the way, his “want to” (as Beth Moore would say) changed.

I think seeing his twins get on and off that big yellow bus had something to do with it.  He just loves busses!

Over the first month of the twins school, Sketch made it clear that his “want to” changed.  He didn’t want to be at home for school.  He didn’t want me to be his “teacher”, but to be his Mommy.

He DID want to go to school. He wanted to ride the bus to school, to participate in circle time and play in the big gym (and probably to show off his spanish vocabulary and accent, and his reading, writing and spelling ability…or, maybe that’s me!)

And, as I’d watch him play at the Bounce Zone, I’d see him watch the other kids, and he’d get so excited to be around them.  A wonderful thing for a parent of kids on the spectrum to see 🙂

However, I am sure that his real “want to” is to sit on my lap on the bus ride to school and to sit on my lap in those tiny kindergarten-sized chairs all day at school!

There may be some surprises this first day!

However, we are so proud of him for being able to express to me and Mr. Incredible, his desire for school.  We were so proud that we didn’t even really take it as a blow to our home-schooling abilities! How awesome for God to change his ‘want to’ from being just home with Mommy, to wanting to socialize with others!  Especially considering that not being “social” is one of the core deficits of autism!

Sometimes we need to re-evaluate our want to’s as well.  Sometimes we don’t want to change something that we know we should.  But God can change our want-to, just like he changed Sketches.

Psalms 40:8: I desire to do your will, my God;  your law is within my heart.”

Psalm 119: 1-5

1 Blessed are those whose ways are blameless,
who walk according to the law of the LORD.
2 Blessed are those who keep his statutes
and seek him with all their heart—
3 they do no wrong
but follow his ways.
4 You have laid down precepts
that are to be fully obeyed.
5 Oh, that my ways were steadfast
in obeying your decrees!

So if there is any hesitancy to in seeking God with all our hearts, in jumping over to solely following and obeying God as the Psalmist did…if there is any hesitancy to delight in His ways…if His laws are not engraved in our hearts… then maybe we should ask God to change our “want to” too?

John 14:14  “You may ask me for anything in my name, and I will do it.”

Now that is an awesome promise!

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7 Comments

  1. alienhippy said,

    November 29, 2010 at 12:40 PM

    WOW…Merri, this is a fantastic post my friend.
    Your boy did so well, and well done you!
    AND…..I just LOVE Psalm 40, it’s my favourite Psalm. I have the first 3 verses put to memory they have helped me through SO much. YES…I will repeat that SO, SO, VERY, VERY much.
    You quoting v8 has made me just want to go out to my conservatory and pray through the whole Psalm. Thank you for that inspiration. I will do this as soon as I have finished this comment and before I have to go out into our British snow to take *CAL for her piano lesson…Brrrrr, it’s so cold here.
    I think we can learn so much from watching little children, their ability to trust in change and growth is amazing. They are like sponges, they just soak it all up.
    Now there’s a though, a bit of an aspie tangent. Might even be a blog post for the future.
    ‘What is it like to be a spiritual sponge?’ hehehehe.
    Oh Merri, it’s so funny… now I have a very silly visual of Spongebob Squarepants praying and soaking up Jesus.
    Oh my…the blessing of my aspie brain….I am so glad God loves me and understands me.
    Sometimes I can’t figure myself out at all….giggle
    Love and hugs.
    Lisa. xxx 🙂

    • Merri Lewis said,

      November 29, 2010 at 4:20 PM

      You are too funny Lisa! That is a funny picture of Spongeebob, and you should blog it! LOL!

  2. alienhippy said,

    November 29, 2010 at 1:14 PM

    God is so good!!!
    I went out and prayed through Psalm 40 and even though I have read this Psalm so many times before, God spoke to me through it in a different way today.
    v11. Do not withhold your mercy from me, O Lord; may your love and your truth always protect me.
    WOW…. that is just what I have been waiting on, and the answer to a pray.
    Thank you Merri.
    Love and hugs.
    Lisa. xx 🙂

    • Merri Lewis said,

      November 29, 2010 at 4:21 PM

      Thanks Lisa, I am so glad it spoke to you and you were able to get away to read and pray and hear! That is a wonderful thing 🙂

  3. alienhippy said,

    November 29, 2010 at 5:12 PM

    Hi Merri,
    I hope you don’t mind me pinging off you post. I will give you a mention as your post really helped me today.
    Love and hugs.
    Lisa. xx 🙂

  4. Merri Lewis said,

    November 29, 2010 at 6:37 PM

    I don’t mind at all! Never happened before and I love firsts 🙂 Love, Merri

  5. November 30, 2010 at 2:02 PM

    […] bloggy friend Merri from “Treasures in the Dust” had just published a new […]


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