Sketch’s First Day of School!

Today is the day of Kindergarten for Sketch.

Besides being worried concerned about all the things that could happen on his first day, we are very excited.

I was planning to homeschool him this year.  Sketch had such a hard time leaving home to go to preschool every day, especially when he would see his Princess Buttercup and Dash staying home.  He always loved being at school, but the leaving home part was what was so heart breaking.

With tears streaming down his face while he sobbed, he’d wave his hand at me from the car, “Bye-bye Mommy. I love you Mommy!  See you after school, Mommy!”  (Sniff, sniff!)

Heart wrenching!

He really didn’t “play fair” at all.   As soon as Mr. Incredible would pull out of the driveway, Sketch would perk up and start singing his heart out, happy as can be.

But day after day…it just wore on me!  I started to wonder how much he understood.  Like, did he know that the twins were staying home with me all day for homeschool?  Did he wonder why we sent him away to school?  Does he wonder if we don’t want him home?

Sketch has always liked being home.  He would often need some coercing to get him to go out of the house unless it was a highly motiving place, like the Bounce Zone or Childrens Museum (and now we can add gas stations and drive-thru’s as highly motivating too!)

But, somewhere along the way, his “want to” (as Beth Moore would say) changed.

I think seeing his twins get on and off that big yellow bus had something to do with it.  He just loves busses!

Over the first month of the twins school, Sketch made it clear that his “want to” changed.  He didn’t want to be at home for school.  He didn’t want me to be his “teacher”, but to be his Mommy.

He DID want to go to school. He wanted to ride the bus to school, to participate in circle time and play in the big gym (and probably to show off his spanish vocabulary and accent, and his reading, writing and spelling ability…or, maybe that’s me!)

And, as I’d watch him play at the Bounce Zone, I’d see him watch the other kids, and he’d get so excited to be around them.  A wonderful thing for a parent of kids on the spectrum to see 🙂

However, I am sure that his real “want to” is to sit on my lap on the bus ride to school and to sit on my lap in those tiny kindergarten-sized chairs all day at school!

There may be some surprises this first day!

However, we are so proud of him for being able to express to me and Mr. Incredible, his desire for school.  We were so proud that we didn’t even really take it as a blow to our home-schooling abilities! How awesome for God to change his ‘want to’ from being just home with Mommy, to wanting to socialize with others!  Especially considering that not being “social” is one of the core deficits of autism!

Sometimes we need to re-evaluate our want to’s as well.  Sometimes we don’t want to change something that we know we should.  But God can change our want-to, just like he changed Sketches.

Psalms 40:8: I desire to do your will, my God;  your law is within my heart.”

Psalm 119: 1-5

1 Blessed are those whose ways are blameless,
who walk according to the law of the LORD.
2 Blessed are those who keep his statutes
and seek him with all their heart—
3 they do no wrong
but follow his ways.
4 You have laid down precepts
that are to be fully obeyed.
5 Oh, that my ways were steadfast
in obeying your decrees!

So if there is any hesitancy to in seeking God with all our hearts, in jumping over to solely following and obeying God as the Psalmist did…if there is any hesitancy to delight in His ways…if His laws are not engraved in our hearts… then maybe we should ask God to change our “want to” too?

John 14:14  “You may ask me for anything in my name, and I will do it.”

Now that is an awesome promise!

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Short, Sweet, and Silly

It’s raining it’s pouring

Robbie will be roaring

He won’t go to the car

it’s way to far

to get there while it’s storming


It’s raining, it’s pouring

The inside is getting boring

It’s time for OT

I need a trick up my sleeve

to get him in that building

Right now, all is calm at home.  Robbie is having a blast playing with Banangrams and spelling the names of his favorite places.

But, it is raining and pouring again…and it’s Wednesday.  Being aware of what struggles are coming as far as getting Robbie in the car, and in the building for OT, then in the car again and in the house, is trying hard to ruin the mood. The playful, fun mood…

And I don’t want the silliness to end. So, I’m not going to let it. I am going to enjoy the next half hour of Robbie playing Banangrams and potty training his doll.  Why miss it to worry over what’s to come when there is silliness at hand?

I think that today, I will choose to take the advice of Paul in Philippines 4: 4-9

4 Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! 5 Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. 6 Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.7 And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

8 Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. 9 Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me—put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you.

Garments, Mirrors and Beauty (continued)

I decided the poem at the end of the last blog was not quite finished after I posted it.  Here is the final version:

Garments, Mirrors, and Beauty

It’s time for a change of apparel, it seems

These garments no longer fit

The dark sweats of shame do not compare

to the beautiful garments of praise


My Savior has wrapped me in new clothes today

They are beautiful, made for royalty

It is hard to imagine  how He intended

These gem-laden garments for me


The crown of beauty is on my head

The oil of joy flowing down

As God claimed me as one of his own

The spirit of despair was cast down.


He’s turned my tragedy to treasure

He took my filthy ash-covered self

Wiped off my face and my head and my heart

He replaced it with heavenly wealth


So now I accept his healing touch

The reflections too much to bear

Unworthy, I am but made worthy by Him

It’s time to exit this lair


He’s unbinding the bondage while binding my heart

breaking the links of the chain

With gentle love and skilled hands

He is healing my pain


From trembling to bravery

from fear to boldness

I step out anew on this day

I trust Him with what He has done

And I’m hearing the words that he says


“All beautiful you are, my darling

there is no flaw in you”

Your words pierce through my heart

“Show me your face, let me hear your voice”

I look in the mirror- I fear falling apart


“For your voice is sweet and your face is lovely”

I believe what you say, I am ready to start

Adopting the way that you think

transforming my mind, renewing my life

no longer will I hide or flee


All yours, I am

Now courageous and strong

Conquering strongholds within

Free to be who you fully intended

when you carefully crafted me


 

Garments And Crowns

“Put your toe on your nose.  Put your nose…on somebody elses’ noOOoose…

…And you keep it there all day!”  (The Laurie Berkner Band)

My mind has been spinning in a whirlwind of thoughts today…and this song (Pig On Her Head, by the Laurie Berkner Band) is playing on “repeat song” in my head!  I love singing it with Sketch. He gets the biggest grin and I find it exceptionally cute when he actually takes his toe and puts it on his nose as he sings the song .

At age 5, it isn’t so unusual to put your toe on your nose…but I have no reason to believe that age 25, Sketch won’t still put his toe on his nose when he sings this song!   If he does, that would be a bit unusual…that would get people’s attention, I’m sure!

From unusual… to Adorable

There are many things that he does right now that result in numerous gazes of  the people that we happen to come across throughout a day.

Like singing to himself… or singing loudly (usually Brooke Frasers songs) Proclaiming  praises to God, without fear.

From offensive… to Inspiring

People just look at him and smile at his innocence.

“What is he singing?” a teacher recently asked.

“It is a song by Hillsongs” I reply.

From isolated… to Opportunity

And of course, his unhindered emotions brings a lot of opportunity to say a word or two to the many admiring onlookers… (you can read about his unhindered joy in a previous post, here). Sometimes though, it isn’t so easy to see the beauty in what is going on.

Sometimes the treasure comes from something less fortunate. Like a fear.

Sketch has been terrified of ceiling fans, which causes many problems when he must pass through a room/store with one hanging in the center of it!  He would just freeze…and stare.  I can only imagine he is wondering if it will fall on his head…  But lately, he has been becoming more curious about them…more daring.  At church in our sanctuary, there are ceiling fans that are painted to match the color of the ceiling.  They fascinate Sketch. He has wanted to go in and sit in there so he can look at them.  At first he’d just stare at the fans, but lately, he doesn’t seem to notice them that much and is more interested in looking at other things in the room.

From trembling… to Bravery

Sometimes it takes a little work.  Sometimes we have to blow off some dust or dirt first, before the treasure is revealed.

Like when we suffer a loss or  when a traumatic event occurs in our lives.  Over time we can look back and see how God used that for our good and His glory.

From tragedy… to Treasure

And sometimes we can’t…

Sometimes we need some help, and our wonderful Counselor is just the person.

He loves to blow the ash and soot off of us when we’re in a fiery trial, to reveal the beautiful creation he’s working on underneath.

 

From ashes… to Beauty

Isaiah 61: 1-3 (NIV)

1 The Spirit of the Sovereign LORD is on me,
because the LORD has anointed me
to proclaim good news to the poor.
He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted,
to proclaim freedom for the captives
and release from darkness for the prisoners,
2 to proclaim the year of the LORD’s favor
and the day of vengeance of our God,
to comfort all who mourn,
3 and provide for those who grieve in Zion—
to bestow on them a crown of beauty
instead of ashes,
the oil of joy
instead of mourning,
and a garment of praise
instead of a spirit of despair.
They will be called oaks of righteousness,
a planting of the LORD
for the display of his splendor.

If we let him, He will do it...

But there is always that part of the deal where we have something to do… we need to accept what God’s offering. We have to put on the garment of praise. We have to wear the crown of beauty that he placed on our head.  We need to take off that garment of shame and despair and mourning, etc., and believe that we are the Kings’ daughters, as He has said.

Garments

It’s time for a change of apparel, it seems

These garments no longer fit

The dark sweats of shame do not compare

to the beautiful garments of praise


My Savior has wrapped me in new clothes today

They are beautiful, made for royalty

It is hard to imagine  how He intended

These gem-laden garments for me


The crown of beauty is on my head

The oil of joy flowing down

As God claimed me as one of his own

The spirit of despair was cast down.


He’s turned my tragedy to treasure

He took my filthy ash-covered self

Wiped off my face and my head and my heart

He Replaced it with heavenly wealth

 

 

Garment of Praise

Inspired by Beth Moore’s Breaking Free Bible Study

 

 

 

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